The Art of Small Talk
Did you ever get that feeling in your belly when you pull up to an event? That sort of nagging voice in your head that says, “Turn around and go back home and hide under the covers and watch TV all night instead”? You’re definitely not alone — even the most extra of the extroverts have that same feeling. Here are some tips to help you get ready for any event.
Pre-Event: Know yourself
It’s important to understand yourself, your mindset and your orientation towards self and others. Carol Dweck describes people with a growth mindset in her book “Mindset” as those whose “internal monologue is not about judging themselves and others…they’re attuned to its implications for learning and constructive action: What can I learn from this? How can I improve? How can I help my partner do this better?” You can inform yourself of your own mindset via this quiz: https://mindsetonline.com/testyourmindset/step1.php You can also understand your orientation towards self and others via this short free version of the DISC profile: https://discpersonalitytesting.com/free-disc-test/
Event: Know another attendee
In his book “The Trust Equation,” Charles H. Green uses four objective variables to measure trustworthiness. These four variables are best described as: Credibility, Reliability, Intimacy and Self-Orientation. Questions about someone else are one of the best ways to build trust with another; approach someone you don’t know, shake their hand and give your name, and ask questions to show your focus and truly listen to the response. Take notes on the back of their business card to remind yourself where and when you met, and interesting points you discussed or follow-up actions to take.
Post-Event: Remind them what you know
Follow through! One of the best ways to show that your small talk had meaning and intention is to continue to build the relationship. Add them on LinkedIn with a reminder of how you met and what you talked about, and if possible, offer a value tidbit. Look for future interaction points such as inviting them to coffee or lunch, having a video chat, or making an introduction to someone else in your network with whom they have mutual benefit or interests.
Please feel free to use the concepts in this article to lead your own small group training — at the PittWIT meeting, we did role plays, which is a great way to really help adult learners memorialize what they’ve learned. You can set it up like this: pick two participants and have them “introduce” themselves to each other as if they were just meeting at an event. Let them speak for a few moments, and ask the audience what they did to establish credibility, reliability, and intimacy, and then ask the participants what they could have done better.
In a world that is increasingly automated and technology-driven, human connection is critical — so get out there and employ the art of small talk to make meaningful connections!
Shannon J. Gregg is the President of Cloud Adoption Solutions, a woman-owned Salesforce partner. Learn your own score on Ability to Confidence and Influence through her free and fun mobile course: https://cloudadoption.solutions/trailheaddx/